WAITING

If I were to rewrite the English dictionary, I would probably scrap the word 'wait' and replace it with time wasting and doodling. Infact, I would have too many synonyms that i would use to describe this very annoying verb. Why? This is because I am the most impatient human being that ever lived. The only time I'm patient is when my eyes are closed in sleep. Whenever I complain about having to wait to my ex-roommate and my mother (they act the same age becuase my roommate acts older than her years), they answer with this proverb 'the patient dog eats the fattest bone'. Must I always be the patient dog? Sometimes, it seem to me that apart from being the most patient dog in the universe(with a struggle), I'm also the slowest dawg alive. That's what waiting does to me - it leaves me depressed.
I do not intend to generalise but i strongly feel that there are many more people like me in the world out there. the truth is that these are real feelings that must be confronted. What do you do with the time you've got to twiddle your thumbs when you are confronted with life changing decisions and options like exam results, job applications or medical test results. Ask anybody, those are a few of the times when you just do not want to wait.

For me, i found out that the more i take my mind off the issue in question, the more my subconscious dwells on it. I therefore, make an effort to talk about the situation with my partner-in-crime. An understanding person who would not discount your anxieties as nothing but who would see reason and calm you down. We all need at least one of such people in our lives.

We also need to realise that more mistakes are made by speed than by patience and quiet waiting would save one from many mistakes and errors.

The need to redefine the word 'wait' led me to Eugene Patterson's quote on waiting.

waiting does not mean doing nothing

it does not mean fatalistic resignation

it means going about our assigned tasks

confident that god will provide the meaning

and the conclusions

This is my new philosophy on waiting - I hope this lasts!

Later

Jay

HURTS AND WORRIES

I got an e-mail this morning and it really spoke to my 'spirit'. (If my brother reads this, i can bet my last kobo that he would roll his eyeballs and say 'there she goes again' she and her spirit thingy). In case y'all dont already know, i've got a spirit and it tells me stuff. My brother's real grouse is that my spirit tells me only when and how to spend money lavishly. I hope the choice of the word lavish makes it sound like i've got loads of dough. If it does, then fantastic, that was the whole idea.
Back to the e-mail that spoke to me and my spirit. The e-mail questioned how we handle our anxieties and hurt. What do we really do with the emotions and how do we react when these issues come up - because they are bound to.I think I should get the award for sweeping such feelings underneath the carpet like they don't exist because for me, that is the only way to react - not necessarily the best. I like to go through life with an attitude that says only good things can happen to me.

However, the reality of life is that there is no life with a permanent experience of tranquility and joy. There are ups and downs, happiness and sorrow and as the child in us would like to put it, good and bad. I have come to believe that the only way we can handle these times are when we have the true conviction that indeed God knows best. And to the queries as to whether or not there is truly a God, the only answer lies in creation. Definitely somebody put the beautiful blue skies up there, and the same person probably gave us the green fields and the lilies. There is no doubt that indeed there is a Higher Being. What you call him does not really matter. Your unfailing conviction in Him is the key.

Your soul will remain untroubled when you have a firm conviction that He knows best and that everything He allows is governed by His loving heart. What God allows may hurt you, but it will NOT harm you. Because everything works out for your own good.

Later

Jay

P.S

This goes out to the families whose lives have been affected by the Hurricane Katrina and to my family who lost a brother, husband, father and uncle. God knows best.

I took a personality test and got fantastic results! The most amazing thing is that my personality was described to a tee. U wanna know what the outcome was? Oh alright, i will tell you (U cant stop me). I'm a natural leader and i can manouver difficult situations with ease and tact and best of all, people love being around me. Should i go on... I guess not. I'm sure some of you must have turned green by now. No need. Its just lil ole me. Never a bother to anyone.(Did i hear anyone say yeah right!?)

The question that came to my mind when i completed the test was this - how does our everyday life influence the person we become or the one we grow up to be? Does this mean that all that time when i was really young and could not seem to live a trouble-free life had something to do with the smashing person i have grown up to become? (pardon my immodesty). I can hardly believe that all my childhood scrapes, my teenage woes and the 'wonderful' people i have known for the remaining portion of what sums up to be my life had a great deal to do with it. I'd like to think i was born fantastic.Come to think of it, could the period when i lived away from home with two craze-filled young ladies at the university have anything to do with it? Nah! Highly unlikely. Those were the days. (Chei! i sound old).

Did i hear you say get to the point? O.k, the point is that life brings experiences our way, good or bad to help hone us to the perfect person we would come to be.The yard stick for the measurement of perfection is the only thing that seems undefined. The way you would internalise and use experiences is absolutely different from the way i would use those same experiences. The core idea for us all is that we should use each and every experience for good. There can never be too much good in the world.

We should realise that for everyday that passes, something beautiful remains. Try to look for the beautiful things, capture the memories and let it help to make a beautiful thing out of you.

Later

Jay

P.S. Yesimademybedtheothernight. (i said that real fast!)

Catch ya!

The first day of every new month is usually a day of positive thinking for me. I always think to myself that I would have a perfect month, meet up all my deadlines, organize my schedules AND stick to them and finally, lay my bed (Can that ever be possible).

So, today i woke up with a spring to my step looking forward to what today would bring. Guess what? The skies chose today to open up. It has been raining since thirty minutes after getting up. How do i feel about it? Rotten. I simply hate wet days. Do I hear you ask what this does to my 'new month inspiration'? Yeah, you guessed right, it spiralls down the tunnel and its is highly likely that i would sleep in an un-made bed tonight.

What this brings to my mind is that to a very large extent, you are the only person who can make your world go round. The power is domiciled solely within you. How? The power of positive thinking. If u think it, you can do it.It should however be realised that every decision made comes with a struggle - this struggle is with the ability to be disciplined enough to stick to your goals.

I remember when i had a piggy bank in which i saved all the money i had placed as fine for each time i found myself reaching for the phone to call my ex. I became so rich that i realised that i was not nearly as disciplined as i would like to be.Therefore, every decision should come with a self promise to achieve your laid out plan.

Am i going to sleep in an unmade bed tonight? You would find out tomorrow.

Later then

.J.